Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Stuck in a jam!

Today is sunny, 5 degrees with a coolish breeze, but sunny, the sort of day that tempts a chap, who hates being indoors peering out through the murk, watching the rain pour down incessantly, to get out there in his Morgan.

So off I went, top down and remarkably warm, full of the joys of Spring (well almost) with the intention of just giving the car a nice run to the nearby seaside.

In two miles I was sitting in a traffic jam, sandwiched between two ghastly 4x4's of Eastern origin and surrounded on both sides by ill-clad people with not an ounce of style between them. Don't people wear such scruffy clothes nowadays; it was just the other day in a bank, one we don't use regularly, and I noticed that the Manager was wearing a fairly smart dark suit, thoroughly appropriate for his position, but complemented by a pair of the most garish trainers imaginable! What is this country coming to?

Anyway, amidst all this misery and mental contortion I got to thinking about this 'dreadful' double dip, or is it triple dip, recession we are having to endure.

So this is 'Austerity Britain' I thought, sitting as I was, in a huge line of cars guzzling fuel, with hundreds of people out there shopping vigorously in an area that is nationally regarded as deprived. Even the ones who looked like dropouts were busy texting or phoning on their mobiles!Surely someone has got it wrong!

Frankly, to call the period we are going through as a deep recession is an insult to all those people who really suffered, and I mean suffered, in the recession of the thirties. It is a joke.

At last the traffic was moving and having told my dearly beloved that I would be an hour I revised my route.

My mood was sour, to say the least, as I waited at another main road junction for a break in the steady stream of cars, travelling at 50 mph just 6 inches from the car in front, heading for the nearby shopping village complex, tasteless in the extreme, with its incessant piped popular music and coach loads of people, amazingly, often from quite distant places, hoping to pick up a bargain.
I even look grumpy in Burgundy... there something wrong with me!!

You know how it is, once a driver notices that you're driving a Morgan they usually let you out, but not this lot, I doubt they know what make of car they are driving is, never mind a Morgan. Anyway, finally I was able to make my move and at the next roundabout escaped on to a relatively traffic free road where I was able to open up a bit.

The road took me passed one of those hand car wash places and, yes, you've guessed it, there was a queue of 8 cars waiting to spend, £6,£7,£8,£10 or whatever, on having their cars washed, and these were not drivers of prestige marques, but little 'euro-blobs' of questionable age! For goodness sake, if they were that strapped for cash they'd use a bucket and sponge, like those highly criticised 'immigrants' who are about to wash their cars! Have most of our population got an aversion to getting their hands dirty or are they just bone idle?
By this time I was heartily sick, almost suicidal, and I have now made a vow that I shall no longer spend so much time, listening to the news, watching the news, reading the news or analysing current lifestyles. I shall adopt the very sensible attitude of two of our fellow Morgan owners in Inverness who listen to 'Classic FM' all day, avoiding any transmission relating to current affairs!

It was a very depressing drive and next time I shall head off into the country, hopefully for a bit of peace.


  1. Classic. I've hardly stopped laughing since I first read this piece over a week ago. Please don't stop moaning Chris. It's so, so funny. If Jeremy Paxman had a blog, it would be like this one. John

  2. I don't think you look miserable (even though you are sometimes a bit) Anyway sisters always stick up for their brothers .... don't they ? Keep writing - it's always very enjoyable and never ceases to give us all a smile (even a good laugh), so that's what it's all about, isn't it ? Love Liz